He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
