I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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