I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
