I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
whose parrot is this?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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