We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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