You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
