True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Blood and glitter go together right?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
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The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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