Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
now i know why i became what i already was.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
