? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate