Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone

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  (201): now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone http://tfl.nu/mcch
  Replies (19) Good night (543) Bad night (3987) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.

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  (214): New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises. http://tfl.nu/b9dr
  Replies (14) Good night (536) Bad night (2627) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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  (330): I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry. (1-330): Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now. http://tfl.nu/tk0f
  Replies (28) Good night (630) Bad night (4066)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.

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  (309): I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket. http://tfl.nu/mff0
  Replies (11) Good night (3914) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

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  (610): i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there." http://tfl.nu/12yv
  Replies (28) Good night (6819) Bad night (637)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.

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  (678): We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet. http://tfl.nu/x1wg
  Replies (29) Good night (7732) Bad night (574) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.

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  (401): She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough. http://tfl.nu/js6s
  Replies (19) Good night (5710) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?

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  (513): Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today? http://tfl.nu/r6wg
  Replies (7) Good night (2914) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.

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  (970): i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail. http://tfl.nu/p81z
  Replies (5) Good night (4555) Bad night (810) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.

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  (513): i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week. http://tfl.nu/8le3
  Replies (14) Good night (6917) Bad night (1371) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  What's the address?

  (626): View more from California

  Too drunk. Just google it.

  (310): View more from California

  IT'S YOUR HOUSE

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  (310): What's the address? (626): Too drunk. Just google it. (310): IT'S YOUR HOUSE http://tfl.nu/ymw0
  Replies (5) Good night (2941) Bad night (502)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.

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  (503): Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day. http://tfl.nu/x1ay
  Replies (4) Good night (753) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable

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  (810): Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable http://tfl.nu/3me5
  Replies (7) Good night (2989) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.

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  (+44): I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no. http://tfl.nu/bvly
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.

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  (304): I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's. http://tfl.nu/kb4r
  Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt

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