I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.