On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.