WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
