you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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