I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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