It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
