That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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