Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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