Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
