My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
