Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
