I wish i was in the wii world.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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