I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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