There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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