please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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