i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
