I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
