i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
