When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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