I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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