he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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