Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize