Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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