it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
worst night to have a conscience
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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