Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
