put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize