She announced her abortion via fbk
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
