idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my phone needs a breathalizer
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
