i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
