the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
