i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
