I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
