we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
