i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
