We won't sleep together?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize