It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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