Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
