Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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