Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
