like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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