Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
