I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
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the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I could fuck to npr.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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