i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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