She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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