I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
