I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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