whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize