just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
