She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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