Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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