john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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