Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm jealous of your bromance
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
